I’m going to try and find something or make something that I can look at everyday to give me a personal pick me up. Yes my daughter is more than enough… but it’s hard out here sometimes with very little support so I need to have SOMETHING that I can look at to keep me mentally focused on what it is that I’m trying to accomplish. Especially going into this new year, God willing of course.
I’m really interested in tackling these hurdles that are stopping me everyday from living out my dreams. I’ve always been the type of person to to have my day to cry when the going gets tough and then toughen up and find a solution but as of late I’ve been letting a lot of things obliterate my overall mindset of “I can do this no matter what,I got this" mentally. So bump the 2014 New Years resolutions bullshiiiid…. I’m going to start working on my mind right now. Your perception is everything and if all I can see is what is happening right now in front of me I’ll never get the bigger the picture
The highlight of my day… some random guy coming up to me singing “Merry Christmas” to me…. lol.
He could sing though so I’m not going to play him on the internet but it was just random. I guess he could see how unenthusiastic I am about the holidays ahaha
So I finally got a chance to see Best Man Holiday this evening and I must say even though instagram ruined the sad parts about the movie… I still choked up so much during the film. Watching that movie only made me think about how much I really do miss how my family use to celebrate the holiday season all together, happy, and under one roof. I pray one day as I build my own family I can recapture that feeling once again. For now, things will never be the same though; I find myself not even excited about the season like I was once before. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no Grinch but my perception of what it should be has been tampered with by life… I will admit that much.
Tomato soup and grilled cheese night.
Sometimes I just want to feel like a kid again …. I miss coming in from those cold Minnesota snowball fights and my mother actually in the kitchen cooking up a hot ass pot of soup for me to drink. Sometimes I just go places, listen to songs, or eat certain foods just to mentally take me back to those days when everything was everything.
I really need to start writing more poetry again….
I never writing anymore.
Sometimes when a person goes through too much they just have a loss for words and I feel like I’m that person. So much I want to get out … just haven’t quite found a way to release it all yet but it’s dying to unleash. Maybe I need more than words.
Just a thought.
I’ve been thinking about this for awhile now and I’ve mentioned it more than once but I really really want to change my diet up. Thinking about becoming a pescetarian again and MAYBE a vegetarian;MAYBE lol.
A few reasons that I have that keep bringing me back to these thoughts are:
- My father… He never really had the best diet throughout his life and had tons of health issues because of it. My family comes from a long list of EVERYTHING which includes high blood pressure,thyroid,cancer,diabetes,heart disease,and respiratory issues. So knowing what I have ahead of me I REALLY REALLY want to try and make an actual effort to change while I’m young. We also come from a culture (African;Liberia) that promotes eating tons of meat with a lot of oil so this will be a challenge not going to lie. I love my African food, God knows this …smh.
- So I did a little research (I’m up anyway why not) on places that have the highest life expectancy and besides having a positive out look on life with very little stress the one thing they ALL had in common was their diet which included lots of fresh vegetables and fish/Other sea creatures lol. Also they keep a mentality of "eating to live, not living to eat". Now I’m no genius here or anything but stats don’t lie!
- In America, our life expectancy is so short it’s really saddening. I think about Selah day in and day out and as of now I’m her only surviving parent; I need to be healthy if I can control it. I don’t want to get to a point where I’m approaching the mid point of my life and I’m thinking it’s the end all due to stress and poor eating habits. When I approach 50 years of life God willing I want to be ready and healthy enough to take on another 50 years and hell probably even more.
I just feel like I have a lot going on emotionally and I’m changing as a person everyday. My outlook on life as changed so much; and as much as I talk about having a long healthy life it doesn’t reflect in my diet and I need to change that about myself ASAP! I’m getting older and I need to take responsibility for my well being. Taking care of a child,work,or a lack of money will no longer be my excuses,